I am trained in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and it underpins much of my coaching. Here’s an example of how I used this approach with a recent coaching client.
Marie is a professional who had worked for the same employer for over 20 years. She had a history of childhood trauma and this exacerbated the stress and anxiety she experienced at work. She had benefitted from therapy for her trauma and had come to me for coaching to help her to progress in her career. She was feeling stuck and undermined in her job and felt that her lack of confidence and fear of rejection stopped her from applying for jobs she would find more fulfilling. She could often become overwhelmed by anxious thoughts.
She identified that what was most important to her in life was love, kindness and the joy of being healthy, fit and strong. Her values of love and kindness were also what mattered most in her work: contributing to services that made a difference to people’s lives and treating colleagues with kindness.
In one session a powerful image emerged. Marie imagined herself alone on a journey in a small canoe on a choppy sea. This journey was scary and dangerous, but Marie knew where she wanted to get to and she drew a picture of it: a tropical island representing her dream of a satisfying job and everything that she values including love, joy, and strength. She accepted that the same old anxious thoughts would show up on this journey telling her she wasn’t strong enough, she’d be rejected, she’d fail. She imagined a monster in the back of her canoe repeatedly telling her these thoughts but, annoying as this monster was, she accepted that she would have to take him along with her on this ride. She would focus her sights on her island and what she wanted and wouldn’t let the monster stop her. She needed to put all her efforts into paddling towards the island and the life she wanted, so she wasn’t going to waste her energy trying to get rid of the monster or arguing with it. Here is the picture she drew in her office to remind her.
Soon after creating this image, Marie got te job she wanted and six months later the image is still on the whiteboard in her office as a reminder (although it looks like someone might have tried to rub out the monster!). She wrote to me saying, “Thank you so much for helping me get out of my old job and realising there is hope. Life is good, I’m keeping up with my fitness and training for an ultra. My confidence has improved dramatically, so that’s amazing!! It’s been life changing moving job!!”